All Hail the Queen

I finally understand vodka. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been drinking vodka for longer than I care to remember, but mostly with mixers or as the base for a cocktail. I adore Bloody Marys, still contend that a properly-made Cosmopolitan is one the best cocktails ever created, and will staunchly defend the refreshing purity of a Greyhound made with fresh-squeezed Ruby Red grapefruit juice. However, I could never understand how Russians (and people from many other ethnic groups that share that part of the globe) could drink vodka with a meal, much like wine. Growing up when I did, there weren’t many imported vodkas on the market aside from Smirnoff and Stoli. Then came Absolut, Wyborowa, etc. The 90s heralded the arrival of the flavored/infused vodkas, leading to the creation of the famous Farrelly Champagne Cocktail (champagne with a shot of Raspberi Stoli), invented and served at The Front Porch in South Beach, and named for a dear friend. The flavor-infused vodkas were a favorite of mine and my highball of choice was often Absolut Kurant or Stoli Peach topped off with club soda. The fascination with this genre hit its peak at the 2006 Oscar Party when we served a Brokeback Mountain tribute cocktail called the “I Can’t Effen Quit You” made with Effen Black Cherry Vodka, a splash of champagne, and some other ingredients I can’t quite remember. But what about drinking plain vodka? I love all the foods that call out for it: smoked fish, caviar, borscht, potato pancakes, pierogi, and other Russian/Eastern European savories. I could never “get it”, though I continued to taste many, many, many (too many) vodkas over the years.

My “Great Vodka Epiphany” occurred at Red Square, a restaurant located at The Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. In the opulent bar and lounge which is dominated by all things red, I ordered my first-ever vodka tasting flight. It consisted of five different brands, three of which were not worth remembering. One of the remaining ones, a Ukrainian brand, made me sit up and take notice. However, the last one nearly made me fall off my chair (and I wasn’t even really tipsy yet.) It was from (wait for it): Kazakhstan! All hail the Queen–Snow Queen, that is. Made from organic wheat and artesian spring water from which all traces of calcium and magnesium are removed, the water also reportedly undergoes some sort of reverse osmosis procedure, which is followed by extensive sand-filtering. The vodka is then distilled five times, resulting in a spirit that is as smooth as a well-worn silk chemise. It’s as sweet as young love and somewhat oily on the palate, like running your hand over a good mink coat.

Problem is, I’m having loads of trouble actually buying it. An update will follow once I can do another taste-test. In the meantime, if you come across some good caviar or smoked sturgeon and can get your hands on the Queen, by all means take a chance on her and I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.